


Watching The City

by MeredithBrody



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-27
Updated: 2014-02-27
Packaged: 2018-01-13 22:58:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1243699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeredithBrody/pseuds/MeredithBrody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jonathan is convinced he can't return to Enterprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Watching The City

**Author's Note:**

> This is set just before "Borderland" S04E04 and references the events of "Home" S04E03

**"We’re out here because if I go home and go to sleep the only thing I’m going to be able to think about is that I gotta get up tomorrow morning and go back to that place.” _Cox ‘Scrubs’_**

Being woken up in the middle of the night had been a regular occurrence for Erika since _Enterprise_ had made it home and she'd had that fateful climbing trip with Jon. Despite their decision they hadn't been able to 'leave it' alone. They'd spent almost every night together since they'd gotten back, and made a tentative plan. Tonight Jon had been planning to sleep in his own apartment, that obviously hadn't lasted. "Thanks for letting me in. Do you mind?" He asked as she let him through the door.

"Of course not. I was only sleeping." There was just a hint of sarcasm in her answer. She had been, but she was glad to see Jon too. She watched him as he passed to the sliding door at the front of her apartment. She pulled the light cardigan she had tighter around her and tried to smile and show she wasn't really bothered.

"Sorry." He muttered over her then went to the sliding door at the front of her apartment that lead to a small balcony. For some reason Jon loved sitting out there, even when the weather was cooler than usual.

But this visit told her something was going wrong in the mind of Jonathan Archer, and what it was she wasn't entirely sure. "What's on your mind Jon?" She asked as he sat on the ground, looking out across her view of the city.

He studied her a few minutes, and she hadn't seen him watch her like that since the mountain 8 weeks earlier. It was as if he was trying to find what it was that made them similar, and why he was there. She decided to make it easier for him and sat down beside him. Her back against the railings so she was facing him. She reached out and took his hand in hers, just waiting for him to be ready to speak. "I don't think I can do this anymore, Rike."

"Sure you can." She replied without thinking. She didn't need to ask what he suddenly thought he couldn't do. It was obvious and he'd always been the same. She had hoped that he'd be ready by now, and she was certain he could do anything he put his mind to.

"I can't. The reason I woke you up at this time of night is the realisation that tomorrow morning I go back and now that's all I can think about. How I screwed it up the first time." He looked so downtrodden and broken, and she knew he was doubting himself all over again. He looked down to their hands and frowned before giving them a gentle squeeze. She returned it, then broke one hand free and leant forward to kiss him, just as she had done 8 weeks earlier.

"Tomorrow morning you'll be back where you belong." That was the long and short of it. He belonged out there on _Enterprise_ and she would remind him of that. "Jonathan I've known you a long time now, and you've never belonged on Earth, maybe one day but that day isn't today. You're afraid. You've had a shit time and you've made some hard choices, but you belong up there." She pointed upward with the hand she removed from his cheek and nodded encouragingly. He would be able to do it.

He didn't seem bolstered, not entirely at least. So she fell silent again. Just watching him as he watched the city. There was something peaceful about San Francisco in the middle of the night, but she didn't know how to explain it to anyone who hadn't been there. She was about to stand up when Jon took a breath and refocused on her again. "What if I can't do it, Erika?"

"Then call me, and I'll give you a pep talk." She grinned, and finally she saw a hint of a smile. As soon as it came it faded away again. She almost couldn't bear to see him this down again.

"After everything I did, all those orders I gave, all those lives ended on my word. How do I go back? How do I go on knowing every day I could make those decisions again?" He asked, and although she knew the questions were rhetorical she felt the need to answer. To say something.

"Jonathan. You are a hero. I know you hate hearing that but you are, and you will do what is needed of you. You always have and you always will." She smiled and kissed him gently before standing up and reopening the door to her apartment then standing still. "We can't stay out here all night. Come to bed." She smiled as she held a hand out to him, hoping that would coax him off this balcony and back into the warmth, a second later he stepped up and took hold of it, letting her pull him away and inside.


End file.
